Why did I choose to embark on the journey of becoming an Ironman? It’s a question I’ve been asked a handful of times and I haven’t been prepared with a response. Sometimes things just ‘click’ to make something seem like the right thing to do. Short answer: becoming an Ironman seemed like the right thing to do. I know it was more than that, but that was my answer to the question up until this point. I was asked the question again recently and the timing of my audiobooks/podcasts that I listen to gave me the words to help describe why I undertook this journey.
Here’s the catalyst in my journey: one of my best friends (pictured above) gave me a call sometime during the summer of 2017 and mentioned we should do an Ironman together (thanks David!). I wasn’t entirely sure what that was going to entail so of course I looked it up on Wikipedia. I thought my friend was crazy to even be thinking about this. I didn’t even like running, so why would I add that in at the end of a day with an absurd amount of swimming and biking as a warmup? … 20 minutes later I was convinced. Each of the cutoff times felt doable individually and with enough training we convinces ourselves we could put it all together. It was settled – in 3 years we’d do an Ironman together. I knew I’d have plenty of time to get my head wrapped around it and then commit myself to training.
Here’s the thing: I couldn’t wait. I had just gotten my master’s degree in mechanical engineering, backpacked Europe, and started my career. Life was going great…or was it? Until this point I always had something to occupy my time and my thoughts outside of my ‘day job’. I no longer had the same ‘somethings’ to occupy my time – I was feeling complacent. It was tough to get past this change up my routine. What was really important to me and how could I recommit myself to that? Who was I going to be? With some reflection, the idea of the Ironman came back into focus. I made new friends that had completed either a full Ironman or a 70.3 and that inspired me. Why wait an extra year when I knew I needed a challenge now?
But this backstory only explains part of what got me started on my journey. Mark Manson in his book about hope discussed pain as a central point to life and meaning. His perspective blends a few things that express a part of my journey. He wrote:
“The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our character, and the quality of our character is determined by our relationship to pain … When we pursue pain, we are able to choose what pain we bring into our lives and this choice makes the pain meaningful. And therefore, it is what makes life feel meaningful. Because pain is the universal constant of life, the opportunities to grow from that pain are constant in life … When we deny ourselves the ability to feel pain for a purpose, we deny ourselves the ability to feel any purpose at all.”
I was in a rut, felt lost, and wanted to leave complacency behind. I found meaning in challenging myself with a life altering pursuit. The journey was full of pain: the physical pain that came from soreness, running in the winter, and the long training days; the mental pain that came from fighting mental demons, pushing through days where I felt miserable, and the sacrifices it took to make time for training. There’s so many other things that I could add to these lists but the point is made: the journey was one full of pain. I chose my pain and through this pain I found meaning. Angela Naeth, a top triathlete and former Ironman World Champion, talks about triathlon for her by saying:
“Racing is an opportunity. It’s not something I’m clutching onto where I feel like I have to make world championships. These are opportunities in my life to see what I have inside, who I am, how I’m going to learn from it and grow from it.”
I wasn’t in control of my pain. I was letting the world happen around me. I regained control with an incredible opportunity to understand more about who I am and who I want to be by undertaking this journey. Talking about the journey and being open about my challenges enables me to grow in a way that also allows me to make an impact on the people/world around me.
So again, why did I choose to embark on the journey of becoming an Ironman? You could say it was a crazy idea my friend put in my head. That certainly had something to do with it. But more, it allowed me to refocus my life. I chose to pursue a task that many deem near impossible to learn about myself. I chose to pursue a path of pain to seek growth. My journey is far from over and I don’t know where it’ll take me, but I’m going to continue to choose my pain and grow from it.
